Weaponized Positivity

Weaponized positivity is the use of unabashed optimism and cheerfulness to piss off others. I recently mentioned my dislike of Pollyanna-style positivity. But having just watched the 2003 Pollyanna movie, my mind has been changed. I am at my core a curmudgeonly rebellious naysaying pessimist, so the idea of weaponized positivity excites me. What better way to utterly destroy someone’s attempt to defeat you but by enjoying yourself despite their greatest efforts? Oh the abject horror and helplessness they’ll feel as you only smile at their futile straining.

And for those so disturbed by the ugliness of life, what greater FU can one give but to find enjoyment despite the despair that surrounds? Things not going your way? Enjoy it anyway! F*CK YOU LIFE! Oh the power we can wield by simply enjoying our circumstances. If we do not bend in our quest to select something to savor in each situation, then we win. Think of the Whos in Whoville as the Grinch tried to steal their Christmas celebration — they persisted nonetheless, utterly frustrating and defeating him with their own joy until he had no choice but to succumb.

This is the revolution to join: the fight for hope and happiness. But the enemy does not reside outside ourselves, oh no. It is an ever present foe that seeps into our thoughts. Yet with vigilance we can overcome, destroying our dour attitude whenever it rears, striving to trust that goodness underlies everything, and always finding an aspect in every occasion that elicits delight.

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