Mortal Menu

Why isn’t the world perfectly suited to our tastes? There’s a lot about life I don’t prefer. But I’ve seen other people revel in things I despise. I don’t like green string beans or cheesecake (which should be called “cream-cheese pie” by the way). Yet I’ve witnessed people gobbling them up, experiencing pure delight. Yuk.

And I’ve seen people repulsed by my preferences. This leads me to the conclusion that life tries to be all things to all people. Life is like a restaurant with one of those giant sprawling menus. A lot of the stuff is going to gross me out, but that’s fine, I can ignore it and order something I prefer. Yes the smells will waft, yes I may even catch a glimpse, yes I have to respect that other people enjoy things I don’t.

Oftentimes, those restaurants with huge selections try to make up for their low-quality food with large portions and low prices. And in life we get plenty of diarrhea — but hey, life is free, what’d we expect. So the trick is finding what’s fresh and well-prepared yet still suits our tastes. And sometimes it means relocating ourselves to another part of the restaurant if there’s something too distracting in our current section.

It’s a busy place with lots going on at once, of course we have to expect mistakes. Yes a drink might spill all over us, yes our food might be under-cooked, yes we might be seated next to a boisterous party — but it’s all-you-can-eat for free. What’s the alternative, remaining as unformed mist in the middle of the universe? Boring.

So enjoy your time at life’s buffet. Pick something and try it, sample, or just get up and wander around. Tolerate the selection of others as you expect your selection to be tolerated by them. Focus on the stuff you like. Understand that the ongoings in the kitchen can be unappetizing, but hey, that’s where food comes from. Have a drink, get some dessert, have fun. Yeah it can get loud and dirty, just try to find a quieter table and wipe it down with some napkins. It ain’t pretty folks, but that’s life.

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