Fear versus Worry

I have the inclination to worry about everything, creatively so, imagining the worst possible outcomes. Many in my family do too, as panic attacks appear on both sides. Often times when the phone rings, my mother’s initial reaction is that someone’s sick or dead.

Luckily for me, I’m not really affected by worry anymore. I’m not sure why this is, but I’ve observed changes in my thought pattern over the years. For instance, I used to be certain I knew how the world worked and I was certain of consequences — I’d confidently predict the most dire results of every endeavor. Nowadays I readily admit my ignorance of how the world works, and it has led to positive side-effects.

For instance, in the past I believed my thoughts had zero impact, they were just thoughts after all — no effects internally or externally. Now I’m not so sure. Internally, I’ve definitely witnessed the influence of negative thoughts on my mood. And externally, I often wonder whether worrying might cause my pessimistic musings to come into existence. Ideas and ambitions often come to fruition, why not worries?

And what’s funny, is that my fear of worries coming-to-life actually cancels them out. My mind says: uh-oh I better stop thinking about negative outcomes or else life will use my ideas to create what I imagine. So oddly, it seems my mind is using fear to fight anxiety. And when worry can’t find a foothold, my mood has no option but to lighten.

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